Calling All Housewives: I Need a Vacuum that SUCKS

I currently have 4 vacuums... none of which suck. Our home is only about 1100 sq. feet yet I have 2 full-sized vacuums and 2 stick vacs. I remember a time when they all sucked, but now... well, I'm not quite sure what they do except take up prime closet real estate. It seems to take all 4 to get my house clean.


I would so much rather have just one that worked! Here's what I have:

Eureka The Boss Power Plus

This one is probably the best of the 4, even though it's only $39 at Walmart. It's probably 4 years old, so maybe I should just buy a new one?

Dirt Devil Vibe

I bought this about 3 years ago on clearance at Target. I don't think it's still available for sale. I remember being impressed with it at one point in time. Now, I seriously doubt it's picking ANYTHING up!

Bissell Featherweight Lightweight Vacuum

I got this a little over a year ago as a wedding shower gift. I still like it, but it's very loud. It's also very hard to take apart & use as a hand vac.

I don't remember what the other stick vac is and I don't feeling like going to the basement to check. I bought the Bissell to replace it because it wasn't working very well anymore.

So, I need suggestions! Our house is half carpet and half hard wood. I like having a standard vacuum for the big rooms and a stick vac for the bathroom and kitchen. I'd love to hear what you all have & love... or hate!

Thanks in advance for the help!